My thoughts and experiences of self-worth.

Who better to talk about self-worth than a past sufferer of abuse, by people who also don’t know how to love themselves and crave love? This video message by Teal was so genuine and straight from the heart, and it sparked a lot of thoughts in me.

You only project to others what you feel yourself. You teach only what is in your own experience. If one or both of your parents/carers felt that they were not ‘enough’, that they were somehow tainted, then chances are they passed this down to you, looking at you from their egoic perspective as ‘MY son/daughter’ – an extension of me – and therefore, inexplicably, flawed. It becomes a continuous cycle – passed from abuser to abusee, until one person puts their foot down, says ‘no! you are wrong. I am enough, just as i am, i don’t need to continually seek for your love, validation or acceptance of me, and i don’t deserve to be treated this way’ – and breaks it for good.

I did a lot of work on this a few years ago, and i need to revisit it again. its a continual process, and my journey is not over. 🙂 Because i was carrying around this energy from my past experiences and low self-worth, i used to attract people to me that didn’t treat me very well. That was what was natural to me, and the way i felt i deserved to be treated. This sometimes still happens from time to time – but much less than before, and shows me the areas and healing i need to work on a bit more.

I see basically everyone in this day and age suffering from this issue, in some shape or form. They walk around with patches on their hearts, to varying degrees. I can feel it so strongly in their energy. I think that when you do this to some degree, you dissociate from your true nature – so i don’t think this is a healthy, natural thing at all. It is what we have learnt from others, something we’ve been conditioned by society, religion and mass media to do. When you are in this state, you are unable to freely give your love to others.

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