The songs this lady writes are like quiet little emotional avalanches. ❤

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My thoughts and experiences of self-worth.

Who better to talk about self-worth than a past sufferer of abuse, by people who also don’t know how to love themselves and crave love? This video message by Teal was so genuine and straight from the heart, and it sparked a lot of thoughts in me.

You only project to others what you feel yourself. You teach only what is in your own experience. If one or both of your parents/carers felt that they were not ‘enough’, that they were somehow tainted, then chances are they passed this down to you, looking at you from their egoic perspective as ‘MY son/daughter’ – an extension of me – and therefore, inexplicably, flawed. It becomes a continuous cycle – passed from abuser to abusee, until one person puts their foot down, says ‘no! you are wrong. I am enough, just as i am, i don’t need to continually seek for your love, validation or acceptance of me, and i don’t deserve to be treated this way’ – and breaks it for good.

I did a lot of work on this a few years ago, and i need to revisit it again. its a continual process, and my journey is not over. 🙂 Because i was carrying around this energy from my past experiences and low self-worth, i used to attract people to me that didn’t treat me very well. That was what was natural to me, and the way i felt i deserved to be treated. This sometimes still happens from time to time – but much less than before, and shows me the areas and healing i need to work on a bit more.

I see basically everyone in this day and age suffering from this issue, in some shape or form. They walk around with patches on their hearts, to varying degrees. I can feel it so strongly in their energy. I think that when you do this to some degree, you dissociate from your true nature – so i don’t think this is a healthy, natural thing at all. It is what we have learnt from others, something we’ve been conditioned by society, religion and mass media to do. When you are in this state, you are unable to freely give your love to others.

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Cloud on my Tongue – Under the Pink

my favourite track from ‘Under the Pink’. 3:05 – 4:20 is the most beautiful section in a piece i’ve ever heard.

She’s had such a profound effect on me, both personally and musically, as she has many others. Both ‘Under the Pink’ and ‘Little Earthquakes’  healed me and literally saved my life on a number of occassions. I feel I owe her so much. ❤

“Circles ‘n circles again, I got to stop spinning.”

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Something to be proud of! Seriously, for such a small island, how on Earth did we achieve this? Please don’t get me wrong – i adore Sri Lanka and its strong moral and spiritual value system, as dictated by our religion and culture – but this is just another piece of evidence that shows how sexually repressed and confusing our culture is. Or that we had nothing better to do. Or that we couldn’t think of something more creative to type into Google.

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Confide In Me…

“Do you hurt? Call now for acceptance. 1-555-Confide.”

More often than not, Kylie tends to irk me, but I’ve always found this song/video really haunting and brilliant. I’m often reminded of it in my daily life.

I think its a brilliant social commentary on the nature of human frailty, loneliness and sexuality. The aspects of the human condition that we tend to hide in shame. And also, a slam on erotic call centres everywhere.

Naturally, Kylie plays the part of the Temptress perfectly. 😉
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the only truth i ever heard.

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Autumn dream nostalgia.

In a Cold trance. Autumn. Dreams. Fresh inspiration with fresh winds. Chris Garneau makes me wistfully nostalgic. And darn, i love it.

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